So we still haven't fully decided about Portland. Several times we've decided it's too good of an opportunity to pass up. Then last night we started worrying about the economy. We are pretty confident that Dan's job here is more secure than his job there would be. If E*Trade gets bought out (which is the "in" thing to do nowadays!), he feels they would be much, much, much more likely to keep him on as a Platinum team member in the Sandy call center than as a Relationship Manager in a branch. For one thing, another company would be more likely to close down a branch than the call center! So if we decide to take the job, we could have one of the following terrible outcomes:
1. We can't sell our house. We've had it on the market for a little over 2 months (I know we put it on around Ryan's birthday, July 16th), and we've shown it >10 times, but have had no offers. We're planning on making a $9K price drop if we take the job, but what if that's not enough? What if he gives up his job here to go to Portland, and we can't find anyone to buy our house? That is terrifying! Since at the moment they are refusing to help with relocation costs, we would use a big portion of our savings to get the family moved. How silly it would be to put our family's financial situation in jeopardy!
2. Or, we sell our house, buy a new one, and the branch goes under. Then we're stuck in a more expensive house, having used some of our savings (regardless of if they relent and help with moving costs, it just costs money to get established in a new area), and have no job. That's also terrifying! We would feel like complete morons for taking the gamble!
But with all those negative possibilities, I just can't help focusing on the other possible outcome:
3. We get our house all cleaned up and beautified and depersonalized, and find out that that is what was keeping it from selling after all. We get an offer right away, Dan is able to stay with family in the meantime (we've asked for a couple days while he finds an appartment, but it'd sure be nice if he could make it work to not pay rent at all!), then we buy (or build) a beautiful house just outside of Portland. I stay with my parents in the meantime, just long enough that it's an extended vacation but not so long that we get sick of each other. Then our children get to grow up in an area with better schools, a much better library system (they're just starting to try a north Utah county one with 4 libraries, Multnomah county has 17 libraries), better athletic opportunities (for example, Little League has 1 Utah district and 9 Oregon districts), better weather, etc. I get to leave my allergies here (I just found out that weed pollen count in Eagle Mountain has been High or Very High for all of August & Sept, and low for that entire time in Portland). We live just a short drive from my parents, and Dan's parents might move there as well. Basically, we live happily ever after.
But it seems like I'm going to have to give up that dream in favor of security. This sucks! I don't want to have to make responsible decisions! We've been really trying to make it a matter of prayer, but there's just too much emotion there to separate out. Dan thinks he feels good about staying here, but thinking about it just makes me feel terrible. I try to think of the good things (like not leaving friends), and I just can't focus on them. It just feels like this is our chance and we're going to let this opportunity pass us by.
If we aren't meant to do it, why did it fall into our laps like this? Right after thinking maybe he should look for a job up there (when my family was here last month Miriam told Dan to move up there, he said he didn't have a job up there, and she said "then look for one!"), this position came to his attention. Then he applied, was intervied several times, and was the only E*Trade employee to be offered the position (there are 3 other guys I believe, and all are being hired from outside the company). Was all this just a learning experience? Or are we really supposed to be there, and just go on faith that everything will work out? By denying it, would we be showing maturity for not risking our financial situation, or a lack of faith that Heavenly Father can make it all work out?
We were supposed to decide yesterday, and we still haven't. We've been back and forth several times. This is agonizing!
Code Black
7 years ago
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2 comments:
Well, there's always the natural disasters...my 9th grade science teacher told us that scientists expect Mt. Ranier to erupt again, and that the lava will quickly melt a whole lot of ice and snow which could flood a VERY large area. I read on National Geographic that it is a cubic MILE of ice and snow, but didn't find anything legitimate about how soon it is expected. Wiki says "Some experts feel that it is overdue for a seismic eruption (citation needed)." But in Utah, they expect that we will have a major earthquake. I found this on CBS: "Geophysicist James Pechmann, an expert on the Salt Lake basin's crustal structure, put the odds that Salt Lake will suffer a large quake over the next 50 years at 1-in-3." You should probably take into consideration which natural disaster you would prefer to live through :)
Seriously though. I know I would miss your family a lot if you moved away, but there are a lot of really great things that you could happen if you made the move. I know Dad would love having the grandkids close. And there are a lot of other benefits that you have already mentioned in your last blogs - my favorite is the library system (it sounds like you are just trying to add more items to your list, because eventually the decision will be easy if you have a long enough list, right? I do the same thing, but about much smaller decisions). I'm sure it would increase our odds of leaving Utah after Scott's schooling, which would probably mean our whole family ends up pretty close together...unless Danny ends up staying in Utah!
Good luck making a decision. You sure have a lot to think about. I think it you keep this a matter of prayer and try to truly include Heavenly Father in your final decision you will make the right choice. Good luck! BTW: I am so jealous of you...I can't wait to get out of Utah.
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