parenting = birth control

I love babies. I really, really love them. I love the way they smell, I love all their little noises, I love their tiny little fingers, and the way they rarely stretch out for the first few months. I have always thought I'd have at least 4 children, and although the "at least" part is gone, I still plan on having 4. However, as it becomes more and more of a possibility (Katy is 20 months, if we were to decide to get pregnant ASAP she'd be about 2.5 when a baby could be born), I am more and more worried about my ability to handle another child. I sometimes feel like I am capable taking care of these guys, but frequently I feel like I am incapable of handling all three of them at once. And NEVER do I think "Boy, this is easy! I can totally do this AND handle all the physical demands of a newborn!" I don't want to wait and wait until the age difference is too much - I like the idea of being young empty-nesters. So I feel like it's soon (within a year or so), or not at all. And after certain days of parenting these children, "not at all" seems pretty attractive...


I did another flight-alone-with-three-kids thing today. When we were down in California 2.5 weeks ago, we were thinking that it might be a decade before we made it back, since my in-laws are probably moving at some point. Now, here we are already for Grandma's funeral. The flight itself actually went really well today. We had a stop in Sacramento, and Katy fell asleep when we took off again, and slept for almost an hour! The total time on the airplane was about 3.5 hours, and the kids were very well behaved.

However, traveling alone with all those kids is so hard! And not just because of the kids, but because of all the stuff! Trying to walk through the airport with 3 kids, enough stuff to entertain them for the flight, and a carseat (which I carried through the airport in case there was an empty seat, but there wasn't) is a major ordeal. And when we have the luggage as well...I should have taken a picture. I take the double stroller, put Katy in the front seat, then put the big duffel bag in the back seat. And stack all 3 booster/car seats on top. Then try to walk without dropping anything, not being able to see over the pile-o-stuff, while making the boys wear their backpacks full of entertainment and each pull a rolling suitcase for me. It is absolutely exhausting!

Oh, and before that, getting everyone out the door is another adventure. I was up late last night packing, then up early to make sure we were all ready on time. And we still weren't. I had Blues Clues on to entertain Katy while I did my last minute stuff, but it made the boys unable to focus long enough to dress themselves. So I did a lot of reminding them while walking through the room dealing with other things, but not focusing on them enough to really help. Then we finally get everything ready, take 15 minutes to load up our Home Teacher's wife's car FULL of our stuff (big suitcases crammed between the boys seats and the front seats, so they had zero leg room), and THEN Ryan says the 6 dreaded words. "Mommy, I need to go poo-poo." So I had to leave David and Katy waiting in the car with Sister Hainer, while Ryan and I went in to take care of his business. Awesome.

In none of this am I claiming my children are any more difficult than any others. Except for maybe the inability to get dressed while Blues Clues is on, all of that would be hard with any children. But still, that doesn't negate my point. I barely survived the travel with 3 kids, what would I do with another one?

On the other hand, some of the naughtiness this evening is more child-specific. Katy was really whiney and cranky all evening. She kept getting into the snack cupboards, making me get her some food, then not eating anything she had been whining at me to give her. I put her to bed at 7:15, and she went right to sleep. So at least we know what was wrong there.

Then, I thought it would be nice to snuggle with the boys and watch a movie. I get this bad idea every couple months, then eventually forget why it is such a bad idea and decide to do it again. We had started watching Star Wars II earlier in the day, so I turned that on and popped some popcorn. They were in their jammies and had their loveys, and we cuddled in the recliner. It ended around 8:30 I think, then I had them brush their teeth, read a chapter in a Pokemon book, and took Ryan to bed. He was WILD! He kept pretending to have a light saber. Oops. So, Ryan had lights out around 8:45, I thought he was settling down, then I went out to read with David. He read me 2 stories, then I looked at a magazine while he looked at another book. 20 minutes later I took David into the bedroom, and Ryan was still awake! So, I laid between them (here at Grandma & Grandpa Morrill's house they're sharing a bed). And stayed there for 30 minutes, until Ryan was asleep (and I was awake again). I left and went to go prepare myself for bed. A little while later I hear David whimpering, and go to find this!


David had woken Ryan up! And Ryan somehow did this to him! I asked David why he woke up Ryan, and he said "Because I wanted to have a little fun." Well, how'd that work out for ya? Then my well-intentioned mother-in-law came to help David feel better, getting him a band aid and letting him tell her how awful it was. He was lucky she was there, because I had absolutely no sympathy for him! Ryan was asleep, I find this a pretty logical consequence to waking him up!

It's been an exhausting day, I suppose I should stop whining about it and just go to bed. Tomorrow morning is the funeral, and I've decided to take the kids. After this post that sounds like a silly decision, but I think it's an important thing for them to experience. And I want them to see all the family that will be there. So cross your fingers for us, that the kids don't cause any huge problems during their great-grandmother's funeral!!!