I used to think people were bad parents if they couldn't keep their kids quiet in church. Then I got really loud kids. I used to think people should make sure their kids look cute, or at least decent, at all times. Now I know that non-matching outfits and messy hair are just not worth the battle some days. I used to think only lazy parents let their kids play video games for more than the recommended 2 hours a day. Maybe that's kinda true, but it sure is nice to be that lazy parent and have the kids happily occupied in a non-mess making way! The list goes on and on...
I also used think all good Mormon families should have at least 4 kids unless there is a really good reason not to (really hard pregnancies, some sort of child or parental disability, etc.). That one is going the way of all those other "good parents should..." beliefs.
When I was pregnant with Katy we decided to have another one two years later. Well, her birthday just came and went, with no sign of readiness on our part. It's not that I don't want another baby. I do! I absolutely adore babies. When I think of having another sweet little one, I feel all happy and gooey inside when I think about this:
But they spend so very little of their time like that! I tried to find some good pictures of my kids being naughty, and this is all I found:
Apparently when they do naughty things I don't reach for the camera, maybe I'll have to start doing that more! Because I certainly have a disproportionate amount of pictures of them being sweet and nice to the amount of their lives that they actually are that way!
Kids are SO MUCH work! When they're brand new they take so much physical work with all the feedings and changes, and sometimes they just cry for no reason. There is such a long stretch of time that you really don't get any "me" time. Then they around a year old they start making stupid messes all over as they start exploring. Then they turn 2 and start turning everything into a fight. Seriously, it's like a switch was flipped in Katy, and she throws mini-tantrums all the time when you do things like open the door for her, pick her up to get a drink (never mind that she isn't tall enough even with the step stool), hold her hand in the busy parking lot, etc. As they get older and get easier in certain ways, they make up for it in others.
I don't know if my kids are exceptionally hard, I'm a really bad parent, or if I just whine more than others. Whatever it is, these kids are driving me crazy! The only time I really want to have another is during Sunday School & Relief Society, when they're all taken care of by other people!
I can't believe the messes they make - I had the house spotless Saturday night after the kids went to bed, and by Sunday evening it looked like I don't know how to clean house again. And I haven't been able to get it looking good again. It really is ridiculous. When I suggest that they should help clean they (David in particular), throw such a fit! We don't have a separate playroom here, so they have to clean up their toys every night or bad things happen (legos on the bedroom floor hurt people!). And every single night is a huge ordeal, lots of fighting and nagging and whining (mine AND theirs)!
And they fight, all the time, about stupid things! And especially at really bad times, times that say "Even though you did something nice for me, I'll show you that I don't really appreciate it after all." It happens after playdates, after fun outings (OMSI, etc.), after playing on the Wii...basically anything nice for them. Afterward they turn exceptionally awful! And the boys have this horrible thing where they like bad things to happen to the other.
This wasn't supposed to be just a long Crankfest about how hard my kids are. But really, I am seriously wondering if we should have another one. There is such a long list of cons, and such a short list of pros. So I like babies, so what? They're nice to cuddle with for a little while. I should just volunteer to babysit for other people's babies, then I can give them back!
I still have this feeling that I SHOULD have 4 kids, even though I'm not sure I want that many. But I don't think it's a Spiritual thing, I think it's just what I've thought for my whole life. And I don't want to wait a lot longer if we are going to have another one, I want to be done with the baby phase. Hmmmm...
Code Black
6 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
If it makes you feel any better I feel the same way! I could have written your post! We have three- pretty close to the same ages as you guys. They are often out of control and fight with each other. One bit the other on the butt in the bath tonight... WHO does that kind of stuff??? One gets up every morning and eats something she shouldn't in the front room (not the kitchen) such as marshmellows, candy if she can find it, cookies, pudding, chocolate chips, chips... NOT cereal and NOT at the table... ok this is all the same child. Anyway, then sometimes I have moments where I feel like they are too easy and that someone is missing. Sigh. Like when its time to leave somewhere and they all go along without any crying... and I'm looking around going do I have all my kids??! I have no practical advice. If we have another it will be sooner than later as well, but I guess it could be never. I just think only three? done having kids at 27? Ok that was a long comment... just wanted you to know that you are not the only one thinking about this.
I think 4 is a good number. That's how many I want, but I have none, so maybe that will change later, if I ever have a baby. 3 years of marriage and no baby? Isn't that unheard of in mormon marriages? Oh, and Katy would make such a good big sister. :)
Where is the picture of Ryan climbing to the upper shelf at Costco? :) I'm glad you grabbed your camera for that one.
As far as kids go--I'm all for more grandchildren!
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