So yesterday morning I woke up with a sore throat & headache. During the day it progressed to include a fever & a general awful feeling. I would have gone to the instacare, but the Saratoga Springs one isn't open on Sundays! Ridiculous! And since I didn't feel well enough to drive myself to somewhere far away, and we certainly didn't want the whole family to go, we decided to wait. Which is good, because I'm feeling better today. I was starting to be sure it was strep, but my fever is gone today. Once in the night it was 104, and I even collapsed or something while walking down the hall! That was weird!
My Danny Love called in sick today, so I was able to sleep in until 8:30, which I'm sure helped a lot! I don't know what I would've done if he hadn't! It's supposed to be his first day working his new schedule, so he would've been gone around 6:15. Well, Katy woke up and nursed around 6:30, then got down & I fell back asleep. Dan came in a little while later to find her playing with cough drops & little hair bows! And I was sound asleep! That's really scary!
Anyhow, Dan has been very helpful through all of this, but he just isn't a mommy. I don't even do a very good job of taking care of the children AND cleaning, and I practice every single day! I realized last night that I spend a lot of time feeling guilty about that. I took a bath right before going to bed, and every thought process I had ended with me feeling bad about something. There's a pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom right now, which made me think of the piles of clean clothes that haven't been folded. The bathtub is a little dirty, which made me think that I really need to clean it. And that actually progressed to me thinking that we really need to move to a house with more than one bathroom (so I can take a bath in a tub that I don't share with the children), which means that I really need to organize the entire house so somebody will want to buy ours. And our garage is a disaster, even though we spend money on a storage unit to avoid that. Speaking of money, I really need to pay my mom for the cell phone bill. But I can't go in the office while Katy is awake because it is a giant disaster. Which leads me back to why am I such a failure at housekeeping? The next door neighbor's house is spotless every single time she opens her door. Why can't I be like that?
I think I spend so much time feeling bad about it that I feel too overwhelmed to actually do anything about it! A couple days ago David asked me why our house is always messy! I don't know if he came up with that on his own or if he has heard me say it, but that made me feel awful! A five year old should not have to notice how messy his house is!
Code Black
6 years ago
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2 comments:
oh sad. you should tell David it's because he doesn't clean it :) I have a hard time keeping up with our apartment with just the 2 of us. I'll probably go insane when we have kids or move into a place bigger than 550 sq ft. there are more important things than having a clean home. it's ok. as long as it's not full of mold and nasty stuff.
I hear ya girl loud and clear! I have those same feelings every single day and guilt tends to go everywhere with me too and it does wipe you out to the point that you just don't want to do anything. At least that is what it does for me. However, I see your blog all the time and all the cute pictures of your kids and all the fun things you do with them. You are an incredible mommy. Besides when it all comes down too it, the thing that matters most is the time we all spend with our families and not how messy our house was. Your doing a great job Rachel, you deserve a pat on the back!
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